Cosmo
by LiftMeUp23
Summary: Kate is on her own after Castle's disappearance. I started writing this just after the season 6, but only finished it and got the courage to publish it a little while ago. First fic ever and English is not my first language, please keep that in mind if you leave reviews. Complete.


Cosmo

Three months after the "wedding"

Kate was sitting at her desk doing paperwork after her last case. It wasn't anything big. Just a mugging gone wrong and this innocent person had ended up dead. She didn't really know if she could do this much longer. She had become a detective to solve her mother's case, and she had done that. Still she was back where she had started. With Castle gone and no leads. She didn't know if she could do it all again. Go through another 15 years of searching for answers to the death of a loved one. Well, for one they didn't even know if Castle was dead. There were no remains in the car, but the more time past the more was Kate convinced it had disappeared in the fire. She felt suddenly sick. So she dropped her pencil and focused on breathing. Why couldn't she think about Castle without getting sick? She had looked at the photo of her mother dead in the alley so many times, and hadn't flinched once. She was mad at herself and told herself she was fine. Picked up her pencil again and went back to work. Still, the nausea didn't quite go away and in the end she had to give up. She went to the bathroom, made sure no one was in there, and belched out all the content in her stomach. She sat beside the toilet for quite some time until she was sure there was nothing more coming out. When she got up she cleaned her face while looking at herself in the mirror.

"What's wrong with me," she asked herself exasperated, but her reflection had no answer.

Four months after

Kate couldn't believe it. She was sitting on the bed in Castle's room. At Castle's loft. And she was holding the stick in front of her. The stick she had just peed on. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be. But the test was positive. Kate Beckett was pregnant, with her likely-to-be-dead almost-husband's child.

Five months

She was really starting to show now. She had been able to hide it with the big shirts she had bought the moment she found out, but now there was no going around it. Gates was pissed because she meant Kate should've been out of the field a long time ago, but this didn't bother her. Martha had been the first to notice, and when she approached Kate about it after suspecting the truth for a couple of weeks, the only answer she got was Kate breaking down, sobbing. She hadn't really done that since that first night and Martha knew she had a lot to get out so she just held her until she felt Kate pulling away.

"How did you know," Kate asked, tears still streaming down her face at a lowering speed, not really meeting Martha's eyes.

"Honey, you're growing and I knew it wasn't because of food cause you barely eat," she answered with a slight smile on her face. "Which you should get better at by the way! If you want my grandbaby to be happy and healthy." She said suddenly a bit stricter. At this Kate didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Six months

She had been left alone for quite some time now, but then suddenly, not anymore. Someone realized that her being pregnant probably meant it was Richard Castle, the famous author's, child. Or it was Richard Castle's almost wife or almost wife,but widowed, love child with some guy who had comforted her after Castle's probable death. It was all a mess and it was everywhere. Espo and Ryan was there for her all the time. They demanded her to call them every time she was to leave the house, and when Kate tried to go behind their back so it would stop, she found Gates siding with the boys.

It all died down after awhile when all the journalists and reporters found some new story to obsess about, but Kate's reality was still the same. She had an unborn baby and no husband.

Kate didn't know how the last months didn't feel like years. Gates had, in the end, thrown her out of the precinct altogether and she'd been stuck in bed for the better part if the last three months. Martha had been a great help, and Alexis was always good company when she came around so time went somehow.

The day came that her water broke and both Martha and Alexis was with her when her beautiful little blue eyed boy was born. Kate couldn't help but fall absolutely in love with him, and she knew everything was gonna be alright as long as she had those eyes, that gave her so much comfort.

Kate spent the first year with her boy and didn't really care much about what went on at the precinct. She didn't need updates or questions or answers, those eyes of her boy kept her going like, and more so than, any of that could. The boys respected her wish and only spoke to her when they wanted to catch up on how her and their god son were doing. One day that changed though. Kate had gotten so used to needing her phone that she tend to leave it in the weirdest or most natural places. This day she had left it at home, on her nightstand, while taking a trip with her boy to the park.

After a couple of hours she was back in the loft, with her son sleeping calmly in her arms, only to hear the last rings of her phone.

She went to check it without putting the sleeping boy down, and let out a little yelp when she saw all the missed calls and messages. Kate called Esposito immediately, but he didn't pick. She could feel her boy stirring in her arms, probably sensing her fear. Then she found Ryan in her contacts and he picked up before she got to the second ring.

"Beckett," Ryan said, a little breathless. "We found him. He's in the hospital now, but they he seems fine."

She had to be sure, she couldn't get her hopes up until she was sure. Kate looked down and saw her son not sleeping anymore, and met his blue eyes. She took a deep breath before she asked: "Who," she couldn't finish her question and took another deep breath "Who did you find, Ryan?"

"Castle."

That was all she needed. She got up from the bed she had been sitting on, and once again leaving her phone in the bedroom, she hurried out the door, secured the baby in his seat and drove. She didn't know if she broke any laws or caused any trouble when she drove the short way to the hospital, neither did she care. The only thing she cared about was that this way had never felt longer. After what felt like forever, Kate parked outside the hospital ready to run, but remembering the baby, and after getting him out of his seat walked as fast as she could. Espo, Ryan and Lanie were all waiting for her inside the door.

"Where is he," Kate asked, way more breathless than Ryan had been before.

"Calm down," Lanie tried. "I'll take you to him."

Kate had felt the tears coming in her car, but had managed to keep them back. Now though, with Lanie's hand on her back saying they were almost there, she let them spill. Then she saw him from the door opening, with his eyes closed on the white bed, and it was definitely him. She stopped crying then and her face broke into a smile bigger than she'd felt in months, before she made a noise somewhere between a sob and a short laugh. This made Castle open his eyes, those eyes that she had drawn so much comfort from these last few months, only from a much smaller body.

She broke the contact with the man's eyes and looked into the little boy's ones.

"Hi little one, you wanna tell daddy welcome home," she said before turning back to her man, and seeing his very much confused and surprised face she knew he'd heard her. "So, Daddy," she let that sink in a little. "You wanna say hi to our son Cosmo?" That made Rick's face break into a smile that she guessed mirrored her own, and she went over to give him a proper hello.


End file.
